Inhale... Exhale... Inhale...

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

— Every Day is exactly the Same (Nine Inch Nails)

I think it was a couple of days ago when I was typing in the dateline for a news report I was filing when typing “September” (actually it was just “Sept.”) caught me off guard and made me look at it again because it seemed so wrong. September? It cannot bloody be September already, I said to myself. Wasn’t so much that I had big plans for September, but really, September? I remember like it was just yesterday that I was adjusting to writing “2009” at the end of the date.

Where the hell did the year go?

And since I’m asking, why does most of it seem like a blur? And I answer, I think living on a day-to-day basis tends to do that. As Vinnie D said in the first Fast and the Furious, “I live my life a quarter-mile at a time”. Wake up. Do the bathroom thing. Eat. Walk around trying to find other people’s agony and ecstacy that can turn into words that will take up space. Actually sit down and turn life into statistics and words. Go home. Sleep. No wonder everyday seems like it was the one that came before it and the one that will follow.

Everyday, it’s drilled into my head that yesterday’s laurels are gone. Go out there and earn some more of them laurels. I suppose that’s why a daily newspaper is so much more disposable than say, a magazine. And then I think about it and I find it’s not that I dislike my job. It isn’t like I dislike the work. Dunno what it bloody is. I’ve never particularly hated or overly loved the idea of routine.

I’ve been pretty apathetic to it and accepted it as is. But I never expected myself to get so dragged into it that the only thing that changes from day-to-day and month-to-month are a few letters and numbers. Do I dislike it? Not especially... So what the hell am I ranting about? Or is this my feeble attempt at keeping you, the readers interested with some new material? Answers on a postcard or of course, you could comment here...