Joy to the world, the bandwagon crashed!

I'll be honest. I've never been the world's biggest football fan. Ever.
Whether watching the sport, following it, knowing about its intricacies or playing it, it's always been no more than a bit of fun and entertainment. On the topic of actually playing the game; having my feet kicked out from under me and falling face-first in sludgy mud isn't exactly my idea of a good time.

That, isn't however to say that I don't find the sport exhilarating at times. That, also, isn't to say that I don't respect certain nuances of the game. And neither is it to say that I don't have a few teams that I particularly enjoy watching.

It is the last of these three that forms the basis for this particular post. And before you, gentle reader, sigh to yourself, wondering why you are consigning yourself to reading about me spew some claptrap about how much I love a certain team and melodramatically justifying why I identify with them and getting all sentimental about why they form my life blood, I'd like to clarify that this isn't what this post is about. However, you've got some nerve being so presumptuous as to assume that's what I was going to do. Remind me to slap you at some point.

Getting sidetracked again.

Anyway, this post is inspired by the fantastic Euro 2008 game last night, where a lacklustre Portuguese side were taken to the cleaners by an inspired and supercharged (I love that word) German machine. I was pleased by the result, partly because I'd like to see Germany win and Jens Lehmann get that victorious send-off he so craves, at the end of a fine career. Kinda like Imran Khan's send-off at the 1992 Cricket World Cup, where he triumphantly held aloft the trophy as his career came to a close.

The other reason I was pleased so so so much, was because the result appealed to my sadistic side. I cannot possibly count the sheer number of morons I have encountered who for whatever reason (glory-hunting, doing it because it makes them look "cool", because they're bored, because their friends are into it etc etc), believe that supporting Manchester United is the best thing to do. Fair enough, if you like the club, so be it. Each to their own.

My problem is with the hot-topic bandwagon jumpers who will probably possess a United jersey, a Detroit Red Wings jersey, an Australian cricket jersey, an LA Lakers vest (sense a trend?) and so on and so forth. Backing a side because they're winning. Whatever happened to backing the underdog, the no-hoper, the surprise package? (Big respect to Jonjo and his Derby County fixation) But stop. What do the Red Wings have to do with Germany's bruising of Portugal?

The fact of the matter is that most of these faux-United supporters automatically began to jump the Portuguese bandwagon, because, "Cristiano's so cute and he's such a good player... I hope he scores lots of touchdowns!!" (too cynical? maybe). It thrilled me to bits to see their maroon and green bandwagon crash into a masterfully engineered German machine and fall to bits.

But don't worry. I'm not entirely stone-hearted. The bandwagoners will get over their pain and suffering. After all, they now have the opportunity to discard their old United jerseys, which don't go with the new jeans they picked up at (Insert trendy clothing outlet name here) and buy brand spanking new Real Madrid ones!! Cool huh?